In December 2010, I helped organize and execute one of CTC’s educational freight rail tours for members of Central Houston Inc., a nonprofit that advocates for sustainable redevelopment of Downtown Houston and the central city. A month later, they called me to announce that they were creating a new part-time Director of Transportation Planning position, and ask if I would be interested in the job.
At the time, I had already started the fertility treatment cycle that led to the arrival of Sam and Cate. With much optimism, I cheerfully told them that I was honored to be asked, but not in a position to start a new job.
When they asked if I could recommend someone else for the role, I told them that I knew exactly who they should go after, and pointed them to my colleague Emily (our future Auntie Em). As an experienced director and trained urban planner, Em was perfect for the job, and Central Houston hired her a week or two later.
* * *
In early August 2013, I read an article from the New York Times Magazine about women who opted out of professional work in the late 1990s in order to be full-time mothers, and subsequently wanted back in: “The Opt-Out Generation Wants Back In”.
As a professional-turned-full-time-parent, I was curious. At some point in the not-too-distant future, it behooves me to find a job and contribute income to our household. I figured that about the time we finish building our new house — in mid-2014 — it would be time to get the girls into preschool and get me a good job.
But I had no specific plans. Heck, I last revised my résumé in 2004 (114 kb pdf), *nine* years ago.
* * *
Also in August 2013, Auntie Em married her once-and-future sweetheart, Royce Henderson. He and Em are both from Linden, in far northeast Texas (near Texarkana), and Em’s mom and stepdad are there, too.
Then, on August 27th, Emily texted me with news of another big change: her consulting employer invited Emily to go run their Tyler office. Tyler, Texas, is just 75 miles from Linden, Royce, and Em’s aging parents. Em, understandably, jumped at the opportunity. She plans to move before the end of the year.
Then a moment later, a text inquiry, “Could you think about 1 or 2 half days a week starting the 2nd or 3rd week in October?????”
My reply: “Ummm…. Probably yes?”
* * *
Emily strategically invited me to participate on the technical review committee for Central Houston’s 2013 Downtown Commute Survey. The three-hour meeting was just the opportunity I needed to dust off my transportation skills and convey my availability.
During the meeting introductions, when Emily announced her upcoming departure, one of the researcher participants (Carol Lewis) asked unbidden whether I was available to fill in. Afterward, Bob Eury, Central Houston’s president, took me aside and asked if I would like to come work for them. I agreed.
While Bob offered me a permanent part-time staff position, I elected to start as a contractor. I may miss out on a benefit or two, but for now, I like the simplicity of getting paid when I work and not when I don’t, with the understanding that there may be times when I am unavailable to work.
The Times Magazine piece goes on:
“The 22 women I interviewed, for the most part, told me that the perils of leaving the work force were counterbalanced by the pleasures of being able to experience motherhood on their own terms. A certain number of these women — the superelite, you might say, the most well-off, with the highest-value name-brand educational credentials and powerful and well-connected social networks — found jobs easily after extended periods at home.
Pamela Stone, a professor of sociology at Hunter College and the author of the 2007 book “Opting Out? Why Women Really Quit Careers and Head Home,” heard many similarly glowing stories. In the early 2000s, she spent considerable time interviewing 54 well-off married mothers drawn primarily from the alumnae networks of several highly selective colleges and universities “who had navigated elite environments with competitive entry requirements,” as she described them in her book. Now she’s updating her research and has reached about 60 percent of her interviewees, two-thirds of whom have returned to work — their decisions sometimes prompted by their husbands’ somewhat reduced earnings, post-recession. “What I heard repeatedly was ‘The job found me’ or ‘The job fell into my lap,’ ” she told me.
Well, yes. That.
I have mixed feelings about being away from Sam and Cate. But my departure nearly always coincides with naptime, and they seem to have accepted that, “Mama go work.” and “Mama come home!” Our wonderful nanny, Claudia, has been exactly the anchor and source of daytime continuity that the girls and I need to sort out our new schedule.
That being said, I am LOVING getting back into transportation work. And I can scarcely imagine a professional job that more perfectly plays to my strengths and lifestyle aspirations. I look forward to work before I get there and I enjoy thinking about it on the way home. I am thrilled to be working with these people.
So if I haven’t said it lately: thanks, Em.
